Smart Ass Club Package #4: Use Your Words

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Some may find some of the content of this post offensive.  If profanity offends you in anyway, please skip this post and wait for the next one in a few days.

PS: Mum, this means you.

PPS: Really Mum, I mean it. Remember that incident with the bar of soap at Auntie Betsy’s house when I was 5? This will be worse.


Ever have one of those days…weeks…months… Really, you’ve tried every other expression of anger and frustration.  Every other method of stress relief hasn’t worked.  You’re finally at that breaking point.

It’s time to run outside and yell at the top of your lungs:  FUCK YOU!

Heh.  That felt better.

You see, I believe that all words have their time and place.  Yes.  Even those ones.  Think about it.   Fuck?  Not an exception.

2010 was a rough year for many people I know.  Even though it was a very good year for us in a lot of ways, it has also been challenging and, at times, frustrating.  And for our designer?  Kind of a living hell.  It’s not my story to tell, but trust me, if you heard even parts of it, even the most puritanical person would say:  “Fuck you is the ONLY response.”

The Pattern:   Fuck You (or #^@&  You on Ravelry) by Sarah Jenkins

I’ve always loved Sarah’s designs.  I knew I wanted her to design fingerless mitts for the Club from the very beginning.   And on the day I saw a Ravelry message looking for one good reason NOT to run outside and scream FUCK YOU at the top of her lungs, I knew we had our theme.

For the December (holiday) package.  Cause, you know…family.

In cashmere.  100% cashmere.  100% long staple luxurious cashmere.  Because, well, we’re nothing if not ironic (in the Alanis Morrisette sense of the word, of course, because we are also not without snark).

So here are the mitts:

Notice anything? They don’t match. They’re 2 different mitts. Because: Fuck you. And also? No second sock syndrome.

There are also very subtle, subliminal design features that accent the, um, theme of the pattern. Kind of dastardly brilliant.

The Yarn: 100% DK Cashmere in Fuck You.

First of all, it seems we didn’t manage to take any photos of the yarn before it left us, so I will be linking to some stash photos on Ravelry.  Fuck.

Our intention for this colourway: obnoxious, 80’s-style neon colours imbedded in black. Green. Orange. Turquoise. Hot pink.

What happened:  Very soft, beautiful, deep versions of those same colours.

Cashmere refuses to be anything but stunningly beautiful.  And if you attempt anything less than that, its response will be:  Fuck you.

The Artisan:  Refuses to be named.

She would like you to think she’s Otis, but um pottery requires opposable thumbs.

Wonderful little notions bowls were created for us. For holding loose stitch markers, needles and other little things.

Some with very appropriate words stamped in the bottom:

Some with milder words:

And the Unnamed Artisan also thought she could get away with having Otis sign a few:

(I would like to state for the record that the Unnamed Artisan came to US with this brilliant idea. And that it was very well received.)

This was a truly fun package to put together. We hope you’ve enjoyed it as well.

Sign-ups for the next version of the Smart Ass Knitters/World Domination Club will begin on February 14. We plan to have lots of fun again, and hope you’ll join us!


11 thoughts on “Smart Ass Club Package #4: Use Your Words

  1. that was supposed to be *orange*? craziness. but still really cool.

    2010 definitely had it’s moments. glad to know the story behind this awesome pattern and marvelous yarn.

  2. Love the post!

    Life rarely sucker punches me, but I am still occasionally overcome by RAGE. And my cure for that is to beat a broom against the floor until it disintegrates. At which point embarassment over my lack of self-control tamps the rage down to a level where I no longer feel the need to destroy things, like heads.

  3. Pingback: The Technique Edition: Cables Schmables « Two Sticks & A Plan

  4. Frak! I’m sorry I missed this one!! Wish I’d known about your club sooner. Any chance you can privately tell me who the potter is? I so need a bowl that says FRAK in the bottom of it!

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